Happy Birthday!

As my boys prepare to turn 6 months old I feel the really difficult period is nearly behind us and we’re moving into the next exciting phase of their lives.

They have come on so much in the past few weeks! They no longer seem like the little premmies which I have been careful to handle and feed, rather proper robust happy bouncy babies.

The little smiles and chuckles that were starting to appear the last time I wrote my post now fill the room with happiness. It’s hard not to feel complete joy when you have four little  faces smiling and laughing hysterically at you! Their personalities are also coming through more and more now with Sam being a real mummies boy, loving  long chats and cuddles. Reuben is definitely the little joker of the bunch and spends his time finding things to amuse himself with. He’s very thoughtful though and you can see his little brain processing everything thing around him as he tries to work it all out. Josh and Zac are both feisty and fun and love to be the centre of attention. You can already see a little power struggle between the two developing, as when you pick one up the other makes a real fuss
 
We have just started weaning and although I have a toddler it’s a completely new experience. With my eldest Luke I adopted the Baby Lead Weaning approach which simply allows your child to start it’s weaning process with soft finger foods rather than puree. It was a wonderful experience for both Luke and I as it never involved any of the fuss that comes with pureeing food, we just ate what we enjoyed together. With B.L.W you need to continue their milk for a much longer period of time as it takes a baby a while to actually start eating the food and getting nutrients from it, so unfortunately I don’t think this time round it’s going to be as practical. When currently 10 hours out of my 18 wakeful hours are spent bottle feeding I need to do what I can to make my life a little easier. So I am ready with my food processor, sieves and ice trays to take on the exciting next step of taste tests. So far we have tried carrot, sweet potato, pears and apples and it’s been a hit all round! I’m sure i’ll soon come across something that one likes and the other doesn’t. It’ll call for another spreadsheet to be created which seems to be what keeps my now military run operation together.

 From Top to bottom: Zac, Ru & Sam having their first spoon of baby rice 

As sleeping in the day time between feeds starts to reduce entertainment time is a key part of my daily routine. The boys are at a funny age now where they are really alert and need constant stimulation but they can’t sit up or grab anything so I often find myself being starred at by eight bright eyes looking for something to invigorate their little minds. You’ll catch me dancing around the living room like a fool most mornings to try and go some way in achieving this. Another winner is putting them in the buggy and going for a nice long walk. The weather hasn’t been all that great lately but that still hasn’t stopped me from getting out the house.  

 Left to right: Ru, Zac, Josh & Sam

Thanks to the help of the Baby Angels (the nannies we were able to employ from the care fund money) and our routine their sleep is consistently better now so we’re only getting up once in the night to feed. This has made a world of difference to our ability to cope and adapt to the constant challenges which we face on a daily basis. I will vouch for the fact the sleep deprivation is one of the worst tortures that can be imposed on someone. Finding the Baby Angels was all thanks to The fabulous maternity night nursing company Sleeping Babies. I initially contacted them with my request but they kindly put me in touch with Jacqui Nancy at Baby Angels as they felt her newborn parenting nannies who come into the home and advise on techniques to get your baby into a routine and settled would really help us. Sleeping Babies is a ‘maternity, night nurse, trouble shooting and nanny agency’ run by two mums with 6 children between them. They were so friendly and helpful when I contacted them which was just want I needed when I was at such a vulnerable stage of my journey! Thanks ladies for your help.

Luke turned 3 last week and is such a good big brother. He finds it harder than he used to with their persistent crying and feeding but overall is coping very well with his own daily challenges. I just wish he was old enough to realise that it won’t be forever and soon he’ll have so many little friends to play his favorite car games with. The boys love watching him playing with his toys and singing happily to himself. I just look at Luke and try and imagine what out house with be like in a few years time, noisy to say the least.

Luke on his Birthday

I just want to thank once again all my friends, family and volunteers for their continual love, support and help over these last few months. In particular te lovely Donna Kinnish and all the people who have donated money though the care fund. The help we have been able to get because of this has made such a difference to our lives. To the wonderful ladies from St Barts church, Homestart and all the Saffas, your help with feeds and daily care has been invaluable.

My Boys Are Famous

My five gorgeous boys were on the news on Tuesday!. They were so well behaved I think they made it look all to easy LOL. Little Luke was a nursey on Monday when they did the filming but had his TV appearance on Tuesday morning on the live BBC breakfast show. Well done boys, you are all such stars xxxx

Angel Care

These wonderful people deserve a very special mention as they have kindly donated us a quad buggy this week. The Bristol based company run by Mr and Mrs Holbrook does outstanding work in the community, caring for and supporting children, young people and adults, enabling them to be independent and assisting them with their day to day needs. After hearing our story they wanted to help as they know first hand just how difficult day to day care can be. This is the most amazing kindness from them as it now allows me to get out of the house on my own. Some may think this is mad, but in fact i’ve found getting some fresh air, even if it just walking around the block makes such a difference. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Angel Care website: http://www.angelcaresupport.co.uk

The boys look super cute in their new wheels 

Time Flys By...

After a long absence I'm back! It’s time to dust away the cobwebs and throw myself a little welcome back party as I have missed sharing my journey with all of you so much! I never thought I would leave such a huge hole in my blog diary but it can only be an honest reflection as to what the last 2 months have been like. Anyone close to me who’s been part of my little stars lives so far knows how hard this has been for us, but I'm pleased to say it feels like things are getting ever so slightly better.

I was never under any illusion that looking after 4 babies was going to be easy. It certainly wasn’t an easy decision all those months ago when I had the heart wrenching conversation with my consultant about how I was going to continue with my pregnancy. When I first found out we were expecting quads I didn’t tell a soul, I had to come to terms with what it actually meant. It took the  next two weeks trying to work out how and if we could manage for me to come to the decision to put my faith in myself and my four little foetuses (as they were then) and go ahead come what may.  Looking back now the risk we took was huge, but I always had faith that things happen for a reason and some how we would survive, mentally and financially. Well now we’re four months in, going though 30 nappies and a tin of formula a day, trying to survive on 2 hours of broken sleep a night wondering just how we are going to continue. Some days are better than others but I never planned for the sheer exhaustion and mental struggle from the sleep deprivation that after a while starts to distort everything and makes even the simplest task seem like an up hill battle. We are blessed to have such kind family, friends, volunteers and people in the community without whos help we just wouldn’t have been able to get as far as we have, but with the majority of our family in South Africa we are doing most of the care ourselves.

It’s very hard coming to the realisation that you are not going to be able to manage as well as you had initially hoped. You can go into something with all the enthusiasm and determination in the world but when you haven’t slept properly for months it really doesn’t seem as doable. We’ve really had to step back, swallow our pride and reach out for help and support from as many people as possible. We first went to our local services to find help however the journey to date has been a challenge and although we have seem to have made some progress in the last week, there is still nothing immediately available. It’s quite incredible to think that another mother of quads who I have been so lucky to meet through this experience was given a 5 night a week night nurse and a full time nanny for a couple of years. Granted that it was 10 years ago, but it just shows how times have changed. It’s very sad to know how rare our circumstance and how desperate our need, yet it seems to be virtually  impossible to access anything. With Martin still working part time and both of us near breaking point we were so lucky to have a dear friend set up a fundraising campaign to raise money for some childcare. The kindness of those who have donated was enough to get us 10 nights of help. It really has been a true blessing and at last I am starting to see a little more clearly. I just want to thank everyone for their love and kindness, you really have made such a difference to our lives. The wonderful ladies from `Baby Angels` who have been helping me have not only come in and helped with the childcare they have  also sorted out an amazing day/night routine which I was struggling to do on my own. The boys seem to be taking to their new schedule and had their first long sleep of 6 hrs this week which is just incredible. When you have been feeding day and night every three to four hours an extra couple seems huge!

All the hardship aside, it’s the little things that my beautiful stars do that make it all so worthwhile, they are truly amazing! They have grown and developed so well since coming home from hospital and have now reached and surpassed the milestones for their corrected age of 10 weeks old (based on when they should have been born). Their medication has been stopped and due to them all being over 11lbs in weight we have just changed over from premature formula to big boy milk. I found great pleasure in buying their first tin of Cow&Gate. We have also recently had the amazing experience of first smiles in all the boys, which has been so special. They chuckle away at the silliest things.I look at them everyday and I still can’t believe how gorgeous and healthy they are, it's quite mind blowing. It’s amazing what the human body can do.

I just want to thank everyone for being part of our journey and giving up their time to come and help us wherever they can. There are a few people that I want to give a special mention to as they have really touched our lives and made things that little bit easier. Over the next few posts I will be mentioning these kind people.

Here are some recent pics of my stars. It’s amazing to compare the shot of them all together at 4 weeks to them now at 5 months old. They have grown so much. 

 Ru, Josh, Sam, Zac 5 months old

Josh, Zac, Ru, Sam 4 weeks old

Zac having a chuckle

Trying to keep cool from the seroius summer heat

Our First Outing

Hasn’t the weather we’re having just been amazing! We even managed to venture out of the house for the first time last week which was even better. I’ve started getting cabin fever from all the long days and nights spent at home just feeding and sleeping, and so the first chance we had I took the opportunity to get out with the family.

Operation Park was a lot less of a stress than I had first thought it may be, but it did involve help from two nannies, Granny and Aunty Bron. All snuggled in their buggies (two doubles as the quad buggy I looked at was just to big and shouted look at me!!!) we set of with Luke on his balance bike to the park which is only 5 mins away. As the boys are still on a lot of meds we aren’t able to feed whilst out at the moment so it needs to be in-between feeds. We we had about a two hour window and we made the most of all the time we had. Luke was so excited to be going to the park with mummy and his brothers as the last month he’s not had the pleasure. It was amazing to spend some time together.

We did get some funny looks from people as we wondered through, but thankfully no-one stopped us to ask the million and one questions I've answered time and time again. I know people are just trying to be friendly but I just wanted some time with the family and to get to the park and back without to much hassle. Thankfully we were able to!

The boys continue to grow by the day and are now; Sam 8lbs 8oz, Ru 8lbs 4oz, Zac and Josh 7lbs 11oz. They have quite bad reflux at the moment so a lot of time is spent winding and moping up sick but despite this it thankfully hasn’t had any impact on their weight gain. We have been very lucky to have Marts mum and aunt with us over the last 6 weeks to help with the mass of washing and feeding but they sadly go home today. Thanks Granny and Anuty Bron for all the love and help over the last 6 weeks we're really going to miss you! We also have help at the moment from trainee students during the day who are just fantastic! Thanks girls for all the hard work, you are making life a lot more bearable at the moment. The students will be going off for the summer hols so we won’t have anyone for 3 months until the colleges start back again. I wanted to put it out there for anyone who would be interested in coming to help with the care of the boys from July to Sep we are desperately looking for some willing volunteers. 

 Off we go

Left to right: Sam, Josh, Ru & Zac

Sam

Zac

Ru

Josh

Luke riding the ramps in the skate park

Luke driving the park quad

It's my due date today!

As I sit here with a baby in my arms I can't help reflect on how different my life is now, Its these rare moments when I can actually stop for 5 mins from the continuous action and busyness which now fills each 24hr period that others call a day. There is no day or night for me any more, just 4 hour blocks in which I may or may not be able to grab an hour or twos sleep. The number 4 now seems to run my life, 4 moses baskets, 4 blankets, 4 bottles every 4 hours, the list goes on... Honestly it’s crazy!

Today is actually a very special day, my due date, the 15th May!. We were all discharged from St Michaels hospital 3 weeks ago after an 8 week stay. It’s quite incredible  how quickly it went and the fact that I brought all my little stars home together. It nearly didnt happen as Josh was still on a tiny bit of oxygen right up until 3 days before we left. I kept being told that I would only be taking Sam, Ru and Zac home which was very difficult to try and come to terms with. I had given birth to four babies and wanted to take four babies home! The thought of leaving him there on his own made me cry, but thankfully he suddenly turned a corner as was able to come off his oxygen and was ready to go on our discharge day. The sense of emotion and achievement I felt when I put them into their cars seats was overwhelming. All those months in hospital before hand and the 8 weeks in the neonatal unit were finally coming to an end and all my boys were fit and healthy. Where had the last four months of my life gone!

Home life is amazing but incredibly hard. We are slowly getting used to our new lives and so is their big brother. He has been amazing with them and although he isn't particularly fused by their presence and obviously feels a little left out at times you can see that he is starting to enjoy them. He even went over to Zacs cot yesterday and told me he needed to pat him to make him feel better which I though was so sweet.

I  think in the last 3 weeks Martin and I have managed about 3 nights of sleep in the same bed. When we first came home the idea was to take the moses baskets upstairs every night, but we soon realised that traipsing up and down the stairs three times night to make bottles and trying to find a comfortable position to feed on the bed wasn't going to work. Not to mention the boys new found lungs, you certainly know when four boys are hungry! and we didnt want Luke to suffer for it. We have resorted to taking it in turns to sleep upstairs with the other sleeping with the boys in the lounge. It’s quite a lonely arrangement but it has to be done and saves up about 20mins on feeding times which equates to more sleep!I don't think I’ve ever been so time efficient in all my life, trying desperately to cut any unnecessary time from the process where I can.  

We are slowly getting into some kind of routine and most of the time we manage to stick to it. I say most of the time as there are some days when everything just goes wrong and you end up with four screaming babies a ton of dirty nappies and more sicky clothes than your washing machine can handle.

The boys are thriving though (their latest weights are; Sam - 7lbs 1oz, Ru -  6lbs 13oz, Zac - 6lbs 9oz and Josh 6lbs 8oz)  and they’re really starting to wake up and be more alert between feeds. We had a visit from the health visitor today and she thinks it wont be long before we start seeing some smiles, I can't wait! I remember with Luke how amazing it felt when he first smiled, so I feel very privileged to be able to experience that four times over!

Ready for home

 

Dad with Zac and Josh

Luke and Sam

 Sam

Zac

Josh

Ru

Having a cuddle

Nap time

Day 44 - Transitional Care

It’s been really hard trying to come to terms with everything happening in my world outside of my babies so I'm sorry for the silence! As much as I’ve needed and wanted to grieve properly I've just had to stay strong for the sake of my family. I also know deep down this is what my brother would have wanted!

Since my last update at a lot has happened... I suppose the first bit of excitement happened two weeks ago when all the boys were moved from High Dependency up to Special Care (the final low dependency room in NICU). I still can’t believe in 5 short weeks they have progressed so much, the time has literally flown by! After the first week in Special Care Sam and Ru were taken off all monitors other than an apnea monitor which monitors their heartbeat, and they were all moved from incubators into cots. I then had great pleasure in giving them their first oral feed by bottle, a major milestone for a prem baby as this is when their suck, swallow and breath reflex kicks in! They have all taken to it amazingly well. I’ve unfortunately had a bit of a personal set back with my expressing and due to problems with my breasts I’ve had to stop all expressing and breastfeeding. It was a very sad thing to decide to do but I just felt that I needed to be fit and well for my boys and the best thing to do was to formula feed them instead. I luckily managed to express and freeze a large amount of breast milk when I was expressing so currently they are on half formula and half breast milk so their digestive system can learn to tolerate it. They have gained a great amount of weight too and are now between 4lb 11oz and 5lb.

Josh and Zac have had a little bit of a difficult time since being moved. They picked up another infection which has had a knock on to their breathing and caused other blips in their progress. They had to go back onto oxygen, have a blood transfusion and start diuretic medication to relieve severe water retention. I have found this very unnerving at times but they seem to be doing a lot better now and have actually just had their oxygen turned off today. 

The biggest news in the last couple of days though has to be Sam and Ru’s discharge out of NICU onto the Transitional Care ward at the hospital! I have been waiting for this day for a very long time. So I'm now readmitted on the ward with them starting the final stretch before we go home. The point of Transitional Care is to establish their feeding and get me used to handling them etc. Because they are still so small taking a bottle really wears them out so they have to gradually build up to having a bottle at every feed. Currently they are have alternate bottle feeds and tube feeds. As soon as they are taking all feeds by bottle we can go home. I don’t know how long that will be but hopefully not more than two weeks. I am also crossing all fingers and toes that their bothers will be well enough to come and join them up here so we can all be discharged together, if they’re not we’ll either have to come back when they’re ready or they’ll be discharged straight from NICU which is not ideal. 

The last 48 hours have been crazy looking after the boys properly for the first time. Ward 76 is a very hands off ward, the policy is the staff are here to help when you need it but they let you do the care on your own. I have literally had about 6 hours sleep in the last two nights. My new routine is nappy changing, feeding, winding, sleeping and then starting all over again. I literally start one off and as soon as I'm done I start the next and by the time I’m finished I have 40mins to an hour before I have to start again. If and when Josh and Zac come up here I am going to have to get some help as there is physically no way I am going to be able to feed them all and get sleep!

I have tons more to tell you but I have to go and prepare Sam’s next feed before I start running behind! Until the next time...