After
a long absence I'm back! It’s time to dust away the cobwebs and
throw myself a little welcome back party as I have missed sharing my
journey with all of you so much! I never thought I would leave such a
huge hole in my blog diary but it can only be an honest reflection as to
what the last 2 months have been like. Anyone close to me who’s
been part of my little stars lives so far knows how hard this has been
for us, but I'm pleased to say it feels like things are getting ever so
slightly better.
I was never under any illusion that looking after 4 babies was going to be easy. It certainly wasn’t an easy decision all those months ago when I had the heart wrenching conversation with my consultant about how I was going to continue with my pregnancy. When I first found out we were expecting quads I didn’t tell a soul, I had to come to terms with what it actually meant. It took the next two weeks trying to work out how and if we could manage for me to come to the decision to put my faith in myself and my four little foetuses (as they were then) and go ahead come what may. Looking back now the risk we took was huge, but I always had faith that things happen for a reason and some how we would survive, mentally and financially. Well now we’re four months in, going though 30 nappies and a tin of formula a day, trying to survive on 2 hours of broken sleep a night wondering just how we are going to continue. Some days are better than others but I never planned for the sheer exhaustion and mental struggle from the sleep deprivation that after a while starts to distort everything and makes even the simplest task seem like an up hill battle. We are blessed to have such kind family, friends, volunteers and people in the community without whos help we just wouldn’t have been able to get as far as we have, but with the majority of our family in South Africa we are doing most of the care ourselves.
It’s very hard coming to the realisation that you are not going to be able to manage as well as you had initially hoped. You can go into something with all the enthusiasm and determination in the world but when you haven’t slept properly for months it really doesn’t seem as doable. We’ve really had to step back, swallow our pride and reach out for help and support from as many people as possible. We first went to our local services to find help however the journey to date has been a challenge and although we have seem to have made some progress in the last week, there is still nothing immediately available. It’s quite incredible to think that another mother of quads who I have been so lucky to meet through this experience was given a 5 night a week night nurse and a full time nanny for a couple of years. Granted that it was 10 years ago, but it just shows how times have changed. It’s very sad to know how rare our circumstance and how desperate our need, yet it seems to be virtually impossible to access anything. With Martin still working part time and both of us near breaking point we were so lucky to have a dear friend set up a fundraising campaign to raise money for some childcare. The kindness of those who have donated was enough to get us 10 nights of help. It really has been a true blessing and at last I am starting to see a little more clearly. I just want to thank everyone for their love and kindness, you really have made such a difference to our lives. The wonderful ladies from `Baby Angels` who have been helping me have not only come in and helped with the childcare they have also sorted out an amazing day/night routine which I was struggling to do on my own. The boys seem to be taking to their new schedule and had their first long sleep of 6 hrs this week which is just incredible. When you have been feeding day and night every three to four hours an extra couple seems huge!
All the hardship aside, it’s the little things that my beautiful stars do that make it all so worthwhile, they are truly amazing! They have grown and developed so well since coming home from hospital and have now reached and surpassed the milestones for their corrected age of 10 weeks old (based on when they should have been born). Their medication has been stopped and due to them all being over 11lbs in weight we have just changed over from premature formula to big boy milk. I found great pleasure in buying their first tin of Cow&Gate. We have also recently had the amazing experience of first smiles in all the boys, which has been so special. They chuckle away at the silliest things.I look at them everyday and I still can’t believe how gorgeous and healthy they are, it's quite mind blowing. It’s amazing what the human body can do.
I just want to thank everyone for being part of our journey and giving up their time to come and help us wherever they can. There are a few people that I want to give a special mention to as they have really touched our lives and made things that little bit easier. Over the next few posts I will be mentioning these kind people.
Here are some recent pics of my stars. It’s amazing to compare the shot of them all together at 4 weeks to them now at 5 months old. They have grown so much.
I was never under any illusion that looking after 4 babies was going to be easy. It certainly wasn’t an easy decision all those months ago when I had the heart wrenching conversation with my consultant about how I was going to continue with my pregnancy. When I first found out we were expecting quads I didn’t tell a soul, I had to come to terms with what it actually meant. It took the next two weeks trying to work out how and if we could manage for me to come to the decision to put my faith in myself and my four little foetuses (as they were then) and go ahead come what may. Looking back now the risk we took was huge, but I always had faith that things happen for a reason and some how we would survive, mentally and financially. Well now we’re four months in, going though 30 nappies and a tin of formula a day, trying to survive on 2 hours of broken sleep a night wondering just how we are going to continue. Some days are better than others but I never planned for the sheer exhaustion and mental struggle from the sleep deprivation that after a while starts to distort everything and makes even the simplest task seem like an up hill battle. We are blessed to have such kind family, friends, volunteers and people in the community without whos help we just wouldn’t have been able to get as far as we have, but with the majority of our family in South Africa we are doing most of the care ourselves.
It’s very hard coming to the realisation that you are not going to be able to manage as well as you had initially hoped. You can go into something with all the enthusiasm and determination in the world but when you haven’t slept properly for months it really doesn’t seem as doable. We’ve really had to step back, swallow our pride and reach out for help and support from as many people as possible. We first went to our local services to find help however the journey to date has been a challenge and although we have seem to have made some progress in the last week, there is still nothing immediately available. It’s quite incredible to think that another mother of quads who I have been so lucky to meet through this experience was given a 5 night a week night nurse and a full time nanny for a couple of years. Granted that it was 10 years ago, but it just shows how times have changed. It’s very sad to know how rare our circumstance and how desperate our need, yet it seems to be virtually impossible to access anything. With Martin still working part time and both of us near breaking point we were so lucky to have a dear friend set up a fundraising campaign to raise money for some childcare. The kindness of those who have donated was enough to get us 10 nights of help. It really has been a true blessing and at last I am starting to see a little more clearly. I just want to thank everyone for their love and kindness, you really have made such a difference to our lives. The wonderful ladies from `Baby Angels` who have been helping me have not only come in and helped with the childcare they have also sorted out an amazing day/night routine which I was struggling to do on my own. The boys seem to be taking to their new schedule and had their first long sleep of 6 hrs this week which is just incredible. When you have been feeding day and night every three to four hours an extra couple seems huge!
All the hardship aside, it’s the little things that my beautiful stars do that make it all so worthwhile, they are truly amazing! They have grown and developed so well since coming home from hospital and have now reached and surpassed the milestones for their corrected age of 10 weeks old (based on when they should have been born). Their medication has been stopped and due to them all being over 11lbs in weight we have just changed over from premature formula to big boy milk. I found great pleasure in buying their first tin of Cow&Gate. We have also recently had the amazing experience of first smiles in all the boys, which has been so special. They chuckle away at the silliest things.I look at them everyday and I still can’t believe how gorgeous and healthy they are, it's quite mind blowing. It’s amazing what the human body can do.
I just want to thank everyone for being part of our journey and giving up their time to come and help us wherever they can. There are a few people that I want to give a special mention to as they have really touched our lives and made things that little bit easier. Over the next few posts I will be mentioning these kind people.
Here are some recent pics of my stars. It’s amazing to compare the shot of them all together at 4 weeks to them now at 5 months old. They have grown so much.
Ru, Josh, Sam, Zac 5 months old
Josh, Zac, Ru, Sam 4 weeks old
Zac having a chuckle
Trying to keep cool from the seroius summer heat
Emma, you are doing a fantastic job! Don't ever doubt yourself and your abilities! Of course it is going to be extremely hard at times, especially those first few months. We are so lucky in Australia, we have access to an in home care program which is partly funded by the government depending on your income. I'll certainly be using it when the triplets are born.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you got some sleep and the boys are getting into a routine. Keep it up!
They have grown soooo much and look wonderful!
I've been wondering how you were all getting on. So good to read this update.
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine how exhausted you must be. Sleep deprivation is truly awful and no one can explain how it makes you feel, unless you've experienced it.
I'm glad you got some help and some sleep.
Your boys are just gorgeous!
I am in awe of you and your hubby...being a mummy (and daddy) is tough enough with just one. But you're doing amazingly.
I hope you find a few moments in the coming weeks to keep us updated.
x
So lovely to hear how everything is going and to see the updated pictures. You are an incredible person Em. Your courage and strength is inspirational. Your STARS looks so beautiful. Thinking of you, Mart, Luke and the stars always. I love you x
ReplyDeleteHang in there mummy you are doing an amazing job!!It is shocking that there is so little help available for you, by now if I were in your shoes I would be a walking living nervous wreck , I'm sure! especially with all you have been through in nicu and loosing your brother. you are doing brilliantly x
ReplyDeleteWell done, Emma, sounds like things are starting to improve. I had my quads over 12 years ago, I didn't have any government help at all, a few childcare students and good neighbours. One thing worth mentioning is that I wrote to one of the formula companies and with a supporting letter from the midwife, they donated a couple of hundred pounds worth of formula. Always worth a try!!Louise
ReplyDeleteThe buggy looks wonderful and I know it will make a difference to you. You will learn to appreciate the local architecture and also improve in your fitness, but the mental release is also great!Your appreciation will increase as they start to crawl - having them all amused in one place is priceless!!
Emma. You are an inspiration to everyone. I'm glad you're getting some help and a bit of rest. One day you will look back on this and see how even further you've come. Stay strong even when times are tough you're doing such an amazing job x
ReplyDeleteIt's so lovely to see some pics of the boys. They are beautiful and all look like they are thriving.
ReplyDeleteYou are both doing a wonderful job. It is disappointing to hear you haven't been able to get much help though. If you ever need help from us for anything you know where we are.
Ali, Eddie, Peter and Lily x