We've had such a difficult weekend with a continued rollercoaster of emotions. From doing some research I now know that there is
something called selective reduction which was mentioned to me at the scan. It reduces one or more of
the foetuses but carries a high risk of miscarriage (is that really an option!) I don’t know… I suppose we have to
consider everything at this stage, but thoughts like that feel so wrong!
Realistically we know that we probably won’t be able to afford 4 babies but I’m
actually already coming round to the idea. The number 4 doesn’t sound as
daunting as it did on Monday and I can almost imagine it. I’m starting to feel
like I might have the strength in me to do this if I really want to. The only
major factor we can see is money so we decided to do a budgeting exercise to work
out exactly how much more in consumables we would need each month and what we
would need to buy at the start to get us going. There are so many factors I
need to consider like my maternity pay, whether there is any additional support
available and other ways that we can generate some income. I’ve seen quite a
few American posts which make reference to companies with Multiple Birth
Programs in the USA who assist families with multiples. There seems to be a
number of companies who happily sponsor families of quads. This is definitely
another avenue that I need to do some research into. By no means do we want to
exploit the babies, but if we can organise an endorsement or sponsorship with a
company, it will go a long way in assisting us.
Wow, what an eye opening experience that was! We both couldn’t stop laughing at the
quantity and cost of everything we need. I think it was more nervous laughter,
as if we take into consideration my SMP (statutory maternity pay) and new monthly outgoings, unless we
can get some help and generate some additional income there is no way we are
going to be able to manage. It’s hard not to feel completely defeated, but
being the character I am I’m not defeated until someone has kicked me down and
is stamping on my head, so we starting looking into companies in the UK who may be interested in sponsoring us. There really
doesn’t seem to be the same kind of offering in the UK. I suppose it’s not
surprising when there’s on average 145 sets of quads born every year in the
USA, where in the UK there are 3-4 sets. I need to just take the initiative and
write some direct letters to companies to see if they would be interested. It also becomes clear from further
research that there's is no additional support from the government for parents
with multiplies. It almost feels as though parents of multiplies are penalised as you receive half the standard benefit every subsequent child born. It is certainly not my aim to claim government benefits, but I am looking for assistance in the form of childcare or support. These unoptimistic findings have lead my mind onto adoption. If I can't consider termination or selective reduction would I be able to consider adoption?
My
body has also been struggling this weekend, spending most of the time sleeping. The morning sickness has eased up a little, but I’m finding it hard to
eat a full meal so I’m nibbling away at things trying to get all the nutrients but also trying to increase my daily calorie intake. It’s
not easy! It’s also harder to know when to stop eating as you are hungry
all the time, but when you end up cramming in too much food you feel real uncomfortable for the next few hours. I kept thinking and
worrying about all the health risks I could potentially face; miscarriage and
premature birth that could lead to severe mental and physical disabilities
for the babies. Other risks include cerebral palsy and Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. I can't get my head around the idea
of complete best rest from 20 weeks (as recommended in the USA). These are all things I will need to discuss with the specialist when I see them. I'm getting frustrated that they haven't been in touch yet…
I’ve
decided to take week by week pics of my belly. Here’s pic number 1:
